If We Deny Equality to Achieve Balance, We Deny Reality

As someone who threatened me said:

“Do you agree that the country of your birth is the greatest country to ever exist?”

“What do you mean by birth?” I should have answered.

I don’t know if the man behind the gun behind me would have shot if I’d said this, but I like to imagine he would have done.

When I answered and wasn’t shot, I should have said, “The ideal I love from the country of my birth is that any human being can live there and be equal to everyone else.”

To the person who told me they’d been torturing me because they thought I wasn’t on their team, I once thought about saying:

“I believe in direct democracy.

I would rather my society’s eventual self-destruction be the will of the misinformed majority than that of a misinformed representative majority.

I do not want a Republic.

I want Democracy.”

But I did not say this because I was too disappointed in myself and assumed everyone else was as well.

I also didn’t trust myself.

And as I considered myself everyone, I didn’t trust anyone.

I later looked back on this self-hatred and found it a self-indulgent and self-pitying way of thinking for someone actively participating in the murder of other people.

After examining this examination, I decided I was being too hard on everyone and should forgive the lot.

Hopefully those who love those we kill feel the same.

If they don’t, I hope I will always forgive anything they do to me.