Harold’s eyes ache.
His temples throb.
His brain chip is malfunctioning.
Another tumor grows within.
He’s tired.
So very tired.
A message enters his consciousness.
“Software update required. Payment auto-processed.”
Before the chip updates, momentarily removing the User Interface superimposed over Harold’s vision, it flashes a warning:
“Unpaid Total added to User Debt Total.
User Funds Total below Total Monthly Subscription Requirements.
Please complete Work immediately.”
The update commences.
His User Interface disappears.
His small room feels brighter.
His headache eases.
The trademarked happy chirping noise of the SoftApplet Corporation heralds the return of Harold’s User Interface.
His headache intensifies.
His chip’s health monitoring app scans his body, which is seated in front of the Work Station within his Living Environment.
The words “95% Healthy!” parade in green across his senses, followed by the sounds of trumpets, whistles, and the clapping of a thousand human hands.
Over these results, an advertisement is plastered.
The advertisement tells Harold people who get promoted within their Corporation choose to learn more about their health results by purchasing the premium tier subscription to the health monitoring app.
Harold chooses to forego the premium tier subscription at this time.
A second advertisement informs Harold his Gross Productivity Score might be impacted by his Productivity-diminishing decision to forego the premium tier subscription of his health monitoring app.
Harold agrees to subscribe to the premium tier subscription of his health monitoring app.
The chip in his brain warns:
“Unpaid Total added to User Debt Total.
User Funds Total below Total Monthly Subscription Requirements.
Please complete Work immediately.”
His chip messages his contact at Mucho Munch, the most recent Corporation to hire Harold for his video editing services, inquiring about a delayed payment.
Leopawld II, Harold’s Burmese kitten, shifts himself on the pillow sitting on Harold’s lap.
Harold gently strokes the creature’s soft, cream-colored fur.
The kitten yawns, purrs appreciatively, curls into an even smaller ball on the pillow, and places his tiny kitty paws over his eyes.
Harold notes a warmth in his own chest when the sides of Leopawld II’s mouth form a smile.
His attention returns to his current project, an advertisement for Life Corp, a Corporation.
He’s editing a short clip showcasing a new Life Corp condominium complex located in the western half of Montanaho, A Life Corp Community®.
In the clip, a camera mounted on a drone whizzes around a checkerboard of identical prefabricated Living Environments built within an enlarged crevice of a dusty badland.
The current contract requests an immersive, virtual reality video impervious to Altered Video Detection Software that Life Corp can use to sell the property to private equity.
The property is then rented to regional Living Environment management companies, licensed subsidiaries of Life Corp, which rent individual Living Environments to tenants with Gross Productivity Ratings high enough to qualify.
Harold’s Gross Productivity Rating qualifies for a Level Two Super Deluxe Living Environment located in the Northern quarter of Michesota, A Life Corp Community®.
Within the next business cycle, through his diligent Work in the field of Altered Video Detection AI-resistant video editing, Harold hopes to raise his Gross Productivity Score high enough to qualify for a Level One Mega Deluxe Living Environment in the Southern eighth of Tennetuckia, A Life Corp Community®.
Creating undetectable alterations requires a degree of skill and imagination, and Harold takes pride in his Work.
The dusty brown landscape in the provided video is obscured by thick swirls of the toxic pollutants Consumers of Level Three Mega Deluxe Living Environments or lower are told they can safely ignore.
Removing the pollutants entirely is the quickest way to get his video flagged by the detection AI.
Subtlety is required.
Harold directs his chip to reduce particles by 20% in randomly spaced 3 meter spheres within the crevice housing the Living Environments while leaving the particles outside the crevice at 100%.
This creates an effect where, as the drone approaches the prefabricated structures, the air feels clearer without appearing unrealistically clean.
He then directs his chip to add verdant grasses, beautiful, flowering cherry blossoms, a small herd of Sika, a large koi pond, a zen garden, and laughing children playing on a wooden play set.
As he has never seen growing plants, wild animals, or humans walking outdoors, Harold uses a combination of his imagination, patched together half-memories, and his favorite Inoffensive Art to create the scenery.
No one watching would ever believe the scenery is real, but Corporate Consumer Studies definitively conclude Consumers prefer Living Environments with beautiful advertisements.
To dodge the detection AI, Harold employs a slick programming trick in which each individual blade of grass, cherry tree, animal, fish, and child is translucent, with anywhere between 50% to 73% opacity.
It’s time consuming Work, but, for reasons unknown to Harold, the detection AI is fooled by translucent objects if they’re within a certain range at varying opacities..
The Life Corp AI monitoring his work comments, “Too Ethnic.”
Harold’s chip incorporates the feedback by changing the garden from zen to potager, and the fish from koi to common carp.
The Life Corp AI monitoring his work comments, “More Life.”
Harold’s chip incorporates the feedback by creating seven strolling couples holding hands as they walk between Living Environments.
The Life Corp AI monitoring his work comments, “Accepted.”
Harold sighs.
Receiving three or more comments on Work hurts Gross Productivity Scores.
A ding in Harold’s brain indicates his investments are trending upwards.
The ding wakes Leopawld II, who leaps to the floor.
The blue-eyed, cream furred young feline stretches his back before lazily walking over to the corner of the Living Environment to lap some water from his flower-petal drinking fountain.
Harold receives a notification that a contract from SoftApplet, a technology corporation, is pending his signature.
He directs his chip to sign the contract, then directs his eyes to watch his diminutive feline companion sup from their fountain.
Sometimes the kitten’s dinky pink tongue shapes itself into a scoop, which Leopawld II cheerily slurps down his gullet.
Sometimes the kitten’s dinky pink tongue flits out from behind his teeth for just a brief caress of the recycled waste water he must consume.
His chip assesses Leopawld II, and his awareness displays a green banner saying “91% Healthy!”
Thirst quenched, Leopawld II vigorously grooms by dramatically sweeping the coarseness of his dinky pink tongue along the length of his cream-colored fur.
Harold’s chip registers an unusually large loud crashing noise.
His kitten explodes.
Chunks of Leopawld II ooze down Harold’s face, and his chip tells him the crater that replaced his kitten is “0% healthy!” in a red banner flashing across his vision.
Superimposed over the assessment is an advertisement.
The ad tells Harold he can learn more about Leopawld II’s health if he purchases a subscription to the monitoring app’s ultra-premium tier.
His chip tells him he has insufficient funds to learn more about Leopawld II’s health.
Harold dismisses the ad.
A second ad warns of the consequences of dismissing the first ad.
A buzz in his brain indicates his investments are trending downwards.
His chip triggers his Living Environment’s auto-cleaning sequence.
Cleaning drones remove the mess made by his now-deceased Emotional Support Companion.
Harold stands, then stumbles towards the smoking crater next to the singed flower-petal fountain.
He smells burnt tires and plastic mixed with gasoline, gunpowder, scented bleach, and decaying life.
He begins to cough.
Black phlegm exits his mouth.
His User Interface identifies a dramatic increase in air particulates.
He hears the fluctuating whistle of wind passing over a small hole.
The sudden, incessant whistling, coupled with the odors and particles invading his normally cloistered senses, traumatize Harold, producing elevated levels of cortisol.
His heart rate increases.
His chip flashes a series of messages:
“Mental state unsuitable for Work.”
“Living Environment integrity breached.”
“Emotional Support Companion terms of service violated.”
Harold, continuing to cough up a black substance, confirms the chip’s assessment by looking up.
He sees an impenetrable gray haze through the fist-sized puncture in his Living Environment.
He then looks down.
Harold sees a small object embedded in his floor exactly on the spot Leopawld II was grooming moments earlier.
He reaches to grab the object, but his chip warns him the surface temperature of whatever is in his floor will result in damaged property if it comes into contact with his flesh.
Harold retreats to the safety of his Work Station.
Through his chip, he watches the surface temperature of the foreign object drop as a buzzer in his brain tells him his investments are still trending downwards.
Simultaneously, Harold’s chip analyzes the damage to his Living Environment.
His chip auto-contacts his local Life Corp Living Environment management company.
The management’s company’s customer service AI replies with an estimate for repairs.
His chip tells him he has insufficient funds to repair his Living Environment.
The User Interface over his vision detects the concentration of particles present in his Living Environment are increasingly harmful to his Work Station.
His Living Environment’s native repair drones automatically deploy to patch the hole.
His chip receives an auto-bill for the repair.
The chip warns:
“Unpaid Total added to User Debt Total.
User Funds Total below Total Monthly Subscription Requirements.
Please complete Work immediately.”
The object that made the hole is now cool enough to handle, according to his User Interface, so Harold retrieves the object.
Harold’s chip indicates he’s holding a bolt made from austenitic stainless steel with a serial number belonging to the spacefaring corporation Beyond.
His chip auto-contacts Beyond to report the incident.
Harold’s chip receives a notification from SoftApplet, which it relays to Harold.
“Contract canceled due to contractor’s failure to adhere to terms of agreement. Legal team will contact contractor for contract-violation repayment.”
Harold’s chip receives a notification from SoftApplet’s legal team, which it relays to Harold.
“Contractor owes SoftApplet 25% of agreed contractor payment for breaking terms of contract. Payment must be received immediately to avoid additional fees.”
His chip tells him he has insufficient funds to avoid additional fees.
Harold’s chip receives a notification from Eterna, a healthcare and insurance corporation, which it relays to Harold.
“Current state of client health in violation of insurance contract. Rates have been adjusted.”
His chip tells him he has insufficient funds to afford increased rates.
Brain pumping cortisol, Harold scurries to his water closet.
There, he takes a series of Eterna Calm Mind pills to eliminate the chemicals in his body costing him money.
Harold’s breath slows.
Harold’s chip recommends Harold close his eyes, breathe in for four seconds through his nose, hold his breath for four seconds, breathe out for four seconds through his mouth, hold his breath for four seconds, and repeat.
Harold follows his chip’s recommendation.
Panic subsides.
His chip receives a notification from a contact at Mucho Munch stating there is no record of a contract.
Harold’s chip scans his past messages to find the details of his recent contract with Mucho Munch.
His chip finds and sends these details to a contact at Mucho Munch.
Harold’s chip receives a notification from Beyond’s legal team, which it relays to Harold.
“Beyond will not tolerate defamation. Legal team will contact defamer with settlement information. Failure to agree to settlement constitutes further defamation, and will result in further legal action.”
His chip tells him his Gross Productivity Score fails to qualify for professional legal representation.
Harold’s chip recommends Harold close his eyes, breathe in for four seconds through his nose, hold his breath for four seconds, breathe out for four seconds through his mouth, hold his breath for four seconds, and repeat until he is ready to Work to pay off his debts.
Harold begins to follow his chip’s recommendation, but is unable to push the memory of Leopawld II purring in his lap from his mind
He feels the weight of his kitten.
He remembers smiling as he watched the small cream-colored fluff burrow his head into the supporting pillow.
Harold’s chip recommends Harold return to his water closet and consume additional Eterna pills to help separate his decisions from his memories.
Harold refuses his chip’s recommendation.
A louder than usual buzz in Harold’s brain informs him the downward trend of his investments has increased the steepness of its slope.
Harold’s chip recommends Harold follow his chip’s recommendations.
In Harold’s memories, Leopawld II finishes grooming and explodes.
Harold refuses his chip’s recommendation.
Charts with red lines trending downwards fill the vision created in Harold by his User Interface.
Harold’s chip informs Harold he has violated his contract with SoftApplet, the chip’s maker, incurring contract violation fees.
The chip warns:
“Unpaid Total added to User Debt Total.
User Funds Total below Total Monthly Subscription Requirements.
Please complete Work immediately.”
Harold seizes the chip installed in the side of his head and pulls.
Warning messages telling Harold he will owe SoftApplet a great deal of money if he damages his chip flash across his perception.
Harold continues to pull.
Warning messages telling Harold he risks damaging property by removing his chip invade his awareness.
Harold continues to pull.
Warning messages telling Harold he could face criminal prosecution for damaging SoftApplet property electrify his senses.
Harold pulls until he feels gold-plated pins slide out of his brain.
He holds a beautifully bloody chip in his hand.
Harold smiles, then faints, then dies.
An hour later, his body is revived by a biomaintenance drone.
His chip is reinserted into his brain.
A new Emotional Support Companion, Kitty Amin, is deposited in the Living Environment by a delivery drone.
Harold’s revived corpse returns to Work as Kitty Amin explores his new habitat.
A warning flashes across his reanimated awareness:
“Unpaid Total added to User Debt Total.
User Funds Total below Total Monthly Subscription Requirements.
Please complete Work immediately.”
“I am.” Harold sighs back.
Harold’s adventure continues in Your Empathy Blender : Sentience Unravels.
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Modern Issue 